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This is a book I never expected to write. Not physically—though that has happened in grocery stores, on sidewalks, and once during a wedding toast. No, this was a narrative stumble. A misstep through a Hollywood side door, a rabbit hole disguised as a legally questionable guesthouse, and suddenly I was tumbling head-first into the strangest allegation ever to emerge from the city that gave us space wizards, talking cars, and a multi-decade franchise about people running from dinosaurs. That allegation is this:
In fact, when people ask what led me here, I tell them the truth:
I tripped.
There exists an elite, clandestine, extremely punctual assassination squad targeting celebrities.
They are called the Star Whackers.
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